How It Happens - Merder Oneshots
by holymerder
Summary: Merder oneshots, some sad, some happy, some a little smutty. Honestly you'll just have to read them because I don't even know exactly what I'll be writing. Requests and feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy my work.
1. Some Kind Of Miracle Pt 2

_A/N_

 _This Oneshot takes place in 12x09 "The sound of silence" after Meredith had been attacked by her patient. Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the mentioned characters. Please enjoy and give feedback._

I open my eyes and find myself laying in a trauma room. I slowly remember what had happened. I had been attacked by a patient, I am probably injured. I sit up and take a look at myself. No injuries. Strangely nothing even hurts. How is that possible?

"Mer? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here...", I here a voice I know too well.

"Derek?", I turn around not wanting to believe my ears. And there he is. This could only be a dream.

It was like no time had passed since I had last seen him. His raven curls were flawless as always, although they slowly started turning grey, which of course I would never tell him. His piercing blue eyes are staring at me, but somehow i can't really tell what he's thinking right now.

I get up, take a few steps towards him and as soon as come in reach for his hands, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me into a kiss. It's soft and gentle and yet there's so much passion, love...and grief. I've missed him so much.

I didn't want this moment to ever end but at some point he pulls away to look at me and it is only then, when i see the concerned look on his face, that i realize where i really am.

This isn't a dream. I had been here before. About 10 years ago, when I drowned...when I died.

"Derek...did I...did I die?", I ask him carefully while my eyes start to fill with tears. This couldn't be true. Just moments ago I had been so happy to just be with Derek again, even if it had only been a dream. But now?

"It's not too late, Mer. You can still go back...", he says stroking a flick of hair behind my ear, "You have to go back. The kids need you. And Amy...she wouldn't survive loosing you too."

"Derek.", I interrupt him wondering if he knows about Ellis.

"After you um...you know died, I found out I was pregnant again and..."

"I know.", he says a large smile forming on his lips.

"You know? But how?", I say, while a tear rolls down my cheek.

"She's so beautiful...I'm always by your side, you know. Even if you don't see me, I'm there."

He wipes my tears away and gives me a quick kiss on the lips.

For a while no one says anything, we're standing there, in each others arms, just enjoying our company, until at some point I break the silence.

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay here...with you.", I confess, "You remember when I said I could live without you? It's so damn hard, Derek. Sometimes i don't know how to make it through the day. I just miss you so much. When something happens, you're the first person I want to tell, and I can't, Derek, I can't because you're here and I'm there and I...", I start rambling, crying and gesturing weirdly with my left hand.

"Hey", Derek interrupts me taking my hand, "You go back there and live a great life. And then, maybe in about 50 years, you come back here and we'll meet again."

He is right. I know he is right. And a part of me even wants to go back. I could never leave the kids alone...or Alex, Amy and Maggie. They all need me and to be honest I needed them too.

"Okay.", I whisper, "But promise me you won't go anywhere."

"It's not like I have a choice", he laughs slightly, "and even if I had I already promised you I'd always show up remember?"

Instead of answering I just kiss him. I know this'd be our good-bye kiss so I try to put all the love I have for him in it. He pulls me very close and I open my mouth to let his tongue slip. His hands are caressing my back while mine and completely lost in his hair. Just like I am lost in this kiss.

When we pull apart, I realize i had completely lost track of time. And also I could see the light, which I now is my sigh to leave.

I look at Derek and know that he also sees the light as he nods.

"Well, good bye then...", I say, my eyes still, or again, filled with tears.

"Good bye, Meredith.", our eyes lock as his arms loosen around me, letting me go.

Just as I turned around I suddenly realize something.

"Wait", I say turning around again, "I want to see Lexie."

How did I forget about her. I was all over Derek, but what about all the other people I had lost?

"I'm not planning on coming to this place again for the next at least 40 years and I want to see her. I miss her so much."

"I'm sorry, but I believe Mark and Lexie are busy right now.", a smirk crosses his face.

"Oh...you mean?", I say slightly giggling.

"Yeah", he whispers while he pulls me closer again and landing a quick kiss on my forehead. "Well then will you tell her that I stopped by and that I love her?"

"Of course I will, but you really have to go now, Mer."

"I know. I love you."

"I love you, too."

And with that he disappears and after a moment I start walking towards the light, making sure to not forget a second of what had just happened.

 _A/N_

 _To be honest this is my first fan fiction ever. So I'd really appreciate your feedback, comments and votes. Plus if you have any request or ideas on further oneshots, I'd be more than happy to hear them. I'll be updating soon and eventually even start a real story a some point._


	2. A Knock On The Door (1)

**_A/N_**

 ** _So this is like an what if scenario kind of two shot (is that even a thing?). I'll post the first part now and the second one in a few days maybe. I don't really know how to describe it, so just read it. I would really appreciate your opinion on this (as always by the way haha). Also I'd like to apologize for every spelling or grammar mistake, English isn't my first language._**

 ** _Anyways, this is set in the beginning of season 2, episode 3/4 maybe. Addison just gave Derek the divorce papers and that's basically all the information you get for now._**

It was killing her. Not being able to be with him, to touch him, and yet having to see him every day, having to work with him.

She knew he was still married, but she also knew his wife gave him the divorce papers. What she didn't knew was what that meant for them. Would he sign those papers? Would he chose her, some girl he just met a few month ago, over a women he had known for over a decade? She really had no idea how this was gonna end.

He at that point didn't really know what he wanted. He definitely didn't want to get divorced. Maybe he could even work things out with Addison. But on the other hand he didn't want to loose Meredith. He didn't want to make a decision, but he knew he had to.

Derek had asked her to come to Joe's tonight. And there she was now. Derek was already there, waiting for her.

She knew he had probably made a decision and was about to tell her now. She wouldn't admit it, but she had her hopes up a little bit, but mostly she was just scared.

"Hey, do you want something to drink?", Derek asked.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks for offering though." She was really nervous now.

"Okay, so I've been wanting to talk about something with you. Come sit", he took his bag from the seat next to him when a few sheets of paper fell to ground.

Meredith intuitively got down to pick them up, only to discover it were the divorce papers.

Not signed.

They slowly slipped out of her hands and down to the floor.

And at that moment her heart and all the hope she had broke into a million pieces. She couldn't stay here for longer or she'd probably have a serious breakdown.

"Meredith.", he said, but she just turned around and without looking back she left the bar. Derek at that part was overwhelmed by his feelings. Maybe it was only then that he realized what he had done, how much he had hurt her. This was not what he wanted.

The next day, Meredith decided to call in sick. She couldn't bare seeing him. So she stayed at home, took a long shower, did the laundry, cleaned a little, she even tried cooking something and all in all the distracting seemed to work pretty well.

That was until at some point, around noon, she heard a knock on the door.

She knew it couldn't have been George or Izzie. They'd not come home for at least a few hours, plus they had a key anyways.

There was only one person she could really imagine standing in her doorway. Derek.

She had no idea how long she was standing there, not moving at all, in her kitchen, trying to decide on whether she should open the door and let him in or not.

Derek, the man who not even 24 hours ago had shattered her heart into a million pieces, but still Derek, the man she couldn't get of her mind. And maybe an explanation would really help her to finally get over him.

Eventually she made it to the door and let Derek into her hallway. And there they where now, just standing there.

She was not even slightly moving, she couldn't, she was just staring at him as like he was a ghost or some fantasy creature no one had ever seen.

"Are you okay, Mer?", he asked really concerned about her.

"Am I okay?", suddenly all the sadness inside of her mixed with anger. Of course she wasn't. What kind of a question was that? Her eyes started to fill with tears and there was nothing she could do to stop them from coming. There wasn't even a word to describe what she felt in that moment.

"Get out!", she demanded. She was able to move again now.

"What why?"

"I'm serious. Get out.", she started shoving him, which wasn't really effective. He wasn't making any effort on leaving. Tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them.

"Derek, please."

She really didn't want him to see her cry. She already seemed pathetic and weak enough, she thought.

He wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't go now and just leave her crying in her hallway.

Before he could think more about what to do, she unexpectedly started talking.

"Look, I don't know whats wrong with me ok? Why I can't get over you, when you", she stopped, "I mean clearly you don't want me because otherwise you would have signed those damn papers, but it's just that…well, every time I see you every single piece of my body wants to kiss you, to just be near you. And when you're not there I miss you so damn much it hurts. I cant think of anyone or anything else, but…you. I-I don't kno-"

He smiled at her. She wasn't sure wether it was just a friendly smile or if he was making fun of her.

She had finally managed to stop crying, so she could continue talking much more serious than before.

"What is so funny?", she asked, "I know its crazy and weird and pathetic…so pathetic…but it's definitely not funny."

"It's not. It's just that you're so cute and…you're falling for me.", he started.

"What, no I'm not-",she was trying to deny it when she realized he was most definitely right.

"I know I'm right ok? Just let me explain it", he continued, "I know I'm right because I am feeling the exact same way.", he paused, preparing for what he was about to say.

"I am so in love with you. I know you're afraid because you never felt like this before but so am I. I never experienced something like that. You drive me crazy, in a good way, and damn you don't know how much I want to kiss you right now."

In that moment it was like nothing else mattered for her.

Derek loved her.

And she loved him too. She wasn't ready to say it yet but they both knew it was true.

"Then why do we keep talking…?", she whispered taking a step towards him.

"Maybe we should just stop talking." he whispered extending his arms to put them around her waist and cautiously pull her closer.

"Wait.", she said, knowing that if she'd continue now, there'd be no holding back.

"What about your wife?", reality had suddenly hit her. She didn't want to be the other women again. She couldn't be the other women again.

 _*to be continued...*_


	3. A Knock On The Door (2)

"Wait.", she said, knowing that if she'd continue now, there'd be no holding back.

"What about your wife?", reality had suddenly hit her. She didn't want to be the other women again. She couldn't be the other women again.

He didn't hesitate at all answering her question, which was probably a good sign.

"I signed the papers this morning. I got them in my car, in case you wouldn't believe me.", he chuckled lightly.

He was really doing this. Getting a divorce, starting a new life. And he was relieved, happy even.

She wasn't able to move, neither could she talk. She couldn't believe what he had just said. Was all this just a dream? That would at least explain some things.

"I thought a divorce would be one of the worst things that could happen to me, i thought that I could make it work with Addison, but I don't believe that anymore. I don't believe my marriage can be saved, when I clearly won't stop loving you. When you ran out of that bar yesterday, I realized that losing you would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. It opened my eyes. And I am so sorry Mer", he continued, "I'm sorry that this is how it had to happen. I never meant to hurt you like that. You have to believe me."

"So you chose me?", she couldn't really believe what he just said. In fact she couldn't believe any of what had happened over the last 20 minutes.

"Yes, I choose you…can I kiss you know?"

She smiled. It was really small and hardly notable, but he just took that as a yes.

He took a step towards her and took both of her hands. They were standing really close to each other now, their bodies were almost touching, there faces so close they could feel each other breathing.

They were just standing there like this and it seemed like forever to her before he finally closed that small gap between them. He let go of her hands to put his hands on her back and pull her in.

Their bodies melted into each other like they were made for each other and as their lips met it was like a fire burst between them.

At first the kiss was slow and very gentle but when she started running her fingers through his hair it got more intense. His tongue somehow found a way through her lips.

He pulled her by the waist, wanting to feel her whole body pressed against his.

He pushed her against the wall in her hallway. They were so close now, not even a piece of paper would've fitted between them.

She could feel the cold hard wall in her back but his warm perfect body at her front.

She had kissed him before but never like this. This time it was different. It was like her whole body had languished for him, like she was finally complete now. It was far away from everything she'd ever experienced in her life, far away from anything she thought was possible to be experienced by anyone.

He ran his fingers through her hair, questioning how he had been able to live without her these past few weeks.

She wrapped her legs around his waist.

His lips left her lips only to continue kissing that spot on her neck he knew drove her crazy.

They lost every sense of time but when they let go of each other it felt like it'd only been a few seconds. Her hair was a total mess and her lips were swollen, she was breathing heavily and her heart was beating way faster than it probably should. He was still holding her because otherwise she probably would've sunken to the floor.

Neither of them actually remembered how they even made it to the bedroom but when they did, his hands grabbed the hem of her shirt and after he had taken it off he started kissing her down her neck over her bra covered breast and her belly until he reached her pants.

He gently opened them, pulled them slightly down and continued kissing.

Shivers were sent through her whole body as he kissed over the lace of her black panties.

She then grabbed his head and pressed his lips onto hers again. She opened button after button of his shirt. She needed to feel his bare skin against hers.

She had missed him so much these past few weeks. The uncertainty whether they'd ever get back together or not had driven her crazy.

"Are you sure about this, Mer?", he asked.

She took a small step away from him to look him in the eyes.

"Look, I don't completely trust you right now, but in order to be with you, I have to learn how to trust you again. And I really want to trust you, so I'm just gonna try. But if you pull something like that again-"

"I won't.", he interrupted her, "No more secret wives, I promise."

"I'm serious.", she said, wondering whether that was supposed to be funny.

"I know, I'm sorry. You know what I meant."

Their eyes locked and they both could see the desire, but also love and care in each others eyes as they continued what they not only wanted to do, but also what they had to do at that point. There was no holding back now.

 ** _A/N_**

 ** _This chapter is a little shorter than the first one because actually I was planning on writing a disgustingly detailed sex scene, but I couldn't really get myself to do it and also I wasn't sure whether people would even want to read something like that, so please let me know._**

 ** _So I'm really sorry this is so short, but I'm already working on my next oneshot, which I'll post in a few days hopefully._**

 ** _Until then please like and review this chapter, I really appreciate and use your feedback._**


	4. I Can't (But I Want To)

**A/N: I know I haven't posted in forever, but since these are just one shots I figure no one really missed me. Anyways, I had this one like almost ready for quite a while now and I know it's a really short one but I really tried and there isn't much more to it. It's set in 2x08 and shows what I imagine when I watch that scene. I hope you'll enjoy xx**

The doors of the elevator opened, he didn't look up at first, but when he did he saw it was Meredith wanting to get on the elevator.

They had already met here several times today, but he wasn't in the mood for making any more jokes, so he just remained silent.

He was leaning in the back of the elevator while she was standing in the front, facing the doors.

"I miss you.", she said all of the sudden.

What was he supposed to do now? He had missed her, too. Of course he had. It had been so hard not being able to be with her these past few weeks.

Maybe he could just give in to his desire…just for a moment, he convinced himself as he stepped closer to her.

His nostrils caught the scent of lavender. He thought about how much he had missed the smell of her hair, how much he had missed her and as they were standing there his mind was starting to slowly wander of…

 _He began by extending an arm, touching her waist, slowly caressing it. He started kissing her neck and could feel her tense body relax._

 _Suddenly she turned around, pressing her lips onto his. What he felt was indescribable. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer._

 _The kiss started off so soft and innocent but quickly turned into something so intense and so full of passion that it felt like it was one of these kisses you'd only see in movies, where suddenly nothing else mattered anymore._

 _She ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scraping his scalp and sending shivers all the way down his scull. His right hand was still on her lower back while his left hand cupped her cheek and stroked her neck._

 _She'd had kissed him before in the elevator, a few days after they had first met, but this was different…better._

 _He pulled away about an inch to take a look at her, to drink in her beauty. She was as beautiful as ever, even with that weird Hello Kitty bandaid._

 _He only then managed to look into her eyes. The look in her eyes was full of love but so hurt._

And that was when it hit him. It was the imagination of her face that pulled him right back into reality. He couldn't bear the thought that it was his fault that she was hurting like that and that he was not able to make her pain go away.

"I can't", he mumbled as he walked by her and got off the elevator.

If she'd only known how much he wanted to.


End file.
